Christmas 2013

This year marks the tenth anniversary of my Christmas Letter tradition.  I started my Christmas Letter as a way to find meaning in Christmas during a particularly difficult time in my life.  It is amazing to me that something that started out of a place of pain and a little bit of faith has become a tradition and something I am told is meaningful to many.  As I reflect on this year, I would say the theme would be how much God has done with my little faith.

At this time last year I was really struggling with my health.  As I started to feel better, I also realized how much progress I had lost in fitness.  I was barely able to walk for 20 minutes.  I had gained a lot of weight and my joints were feeling the effects of carrying the weight.  I was overwhelmed with the thought of getting back to where I was.  So I prayed to God that I would show up on the journey but I didn’t know how to get healthy on my own.  I needed help.

One day I was on Facebook and Courtney Crozier (one of the contestants on season 11 of The Biggest Loser) plugged a Faith and Fitness camp in May.  It was less than $1000 for a week.  All I had to do was get the time off and get to Dallas.  Amazingly I was able to obtain time off and I registered right away.  In the meantime, I worked with a personal trainer in Winnipeg to design a program to help me start my journey until I got to the retreat.

The retreat was life changing.  Suddenly I had confidence in my ability to make this change.  I came back and signed up at a local fitness studio called Boom Bodyshaping Studio.  Between them and RetroFit Ministries I saw major life change.  I got stronger.  I started seeking God daily for His will.  People said they not only saw my size change but my countenance as well. 

In the summer an opportunity came up to lead the women’s ministry at Soul Sanctuary.  I became the leader of Soul Women.  It has been such an honour to lead them and be among them.  They are amazing and I am blessed to have them as my friends.

When October came I started to assume that enough good had happened and that it was time for something bad to happen.  I sensed that God was telling me He was bigger than that but to be honest I had a hard time believing any further good would come.  I began to imagine some of the worst things that could happen to me.  Then, out of nowhere, an amazing job opportunity dropped in my lap.

I was very happy in my position at Cargill.  I believed it fitted my skills almost perfectly.  I felt appreciated and like I was effective.  I was not looking for other opportunities at all.  Then at the very end of October I was approached by an HR Sourcing Firm (I was being HEADHUNTED!).  Within two weeks I had accepted a new position at Parrish and Heimbecker.  So far it is amazing.

The thing is that just when I thought things couldn’t get any better THEY DID!  I am overwhelmed by God’s provision in my life.  More than His provision…  his abundant blessing.

So this year I am believing that my story is about more than being able to overcome darkness.  My life is about living abundantly.  I am just beginning to learn what that means.

May this year be full of happy beginnings for you and your family,

Love,

Misty

Christmas 2012

It’s Christmas Eve. I have purchased gifts. I still need to wrap them. I have to say I don’t think I have spent much time with Christmas music and the Holiday Fire Log going. It’s not that I am dreading Christmas so much as I am focusing on other things.

This year I took an epic vacation. I will remember that road trip for the rest of my life. A friend and I drove all the way to PEI and back. It was wonderful. I felt so free. I had a sense I was recharging for things to come.

The fall has been crazy. I have been struggling with some health issues like never before. As I have struggled I have learned more about God and his care of me. I have let go of a bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter. I am learning to trust. I can’t make things better on my own so I have been reaching out and asking for help.

As the New Year begins, I will start a new position of Senior Business Analyst. I am excited to get back to being a BA. I have missed having the ability to help people and find solutions to problems.

If I had to characterize this year in terms of faith, I would talk about incarnation. God (Jesus) is with us. There are so many times when I got to the end of myself and God has sent people to pull me up. I am so grateful for that.

I know that I will look at this as a year of transition. I have learned to be kinder to myself and not to rely on my own strength. Last year I had a bunch of resolutions and I am pretty sure that I didn’t accomplish any of them. What I gained instead is the knowledge that I am not forgotten. My challenges matter to God.

I was just watching a popular television show and they were talking about friends. Having friends is a predictor of health and longevity. I am so blessed to have so many friends. And with that I wish you all a year of Happy Beginnings!

Misty

2012

Christmas 2011

I don’t know how people in warmer climates manage to acknowledge Christmas.  I suppose you get used to it.  This year in Winnipeg, most people will say that the above normal temperatures are making it difficult for them to feel like it is Christmas.  Yet here we are, one week away.

There are lots of other reasons that I may want to give up on Christmas.  It brings back memories that make me feel sad and burdened.  I am going through a particularly difficult time right now.  There is no obvious reason to celebrate.

It reminds me of the hymn In the Bleak Midwinter:

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

I will celebrate because, no matter how it appears, Jesus always shows up.   I will celebrate because, even though I don’t see how, my circumstances will change.  I will celebrate because, even though I feel alone in my sadness, the incarnation sustains me not just through Christmas but all year round.

May this be a year of happy beginnings for you and your family.

Love,

Misty

Christmas 2010

I began this year knowing that ‘It is my year.’  There was so much promise.  I was happy.  In many ways it has been my year.  I have progressed quickly at my job.  I was able to become more healthy, to the point of participating in two 5K races and riding my bike to work in the summer.  I never thought I could do any of those things.

Imbedded in the Christmas story in Luke Chapter two, there are some things that happen that Mary, “holds close to her heart.”  That stuck out for me because there are many things about this year that I will hold close  to my heart.  And the most important of these is that God was able to do in me and through me things I never thought was possible.

I have also learned this year that perhaps life is more of a series of ‘hmmm’ moments instead of ‘aha moments.’  There have been so many learnings this year that were incremental.  All of these things have built to make me a better woman.  Yes, that sounds like a cliché, but I truly believe that I am a better woman than I was this time last year.

So as I progress through this coming year I hope and pray that there will be more things that I can hold close to my heart.  I will also value the hmmm moments more.  And as always I pray for a year of happy beginnings for you and your family.

Love,

Misty

Christmas 2009

My friend asked me today if my Christmas letter was forthcoming…  I sighed that it was but I had a problem.  I am feeling too happy to write my Christmas letter.  If you haven’t read my other letters this might not make sense to you.  Most of my letters have been some kind of attempt to make the best of Christmas.  This year I am feeling happy.  I am not happy about Christmas specifically but I am not bothered by it either.

But really part of the purpose of the Christmas letter is to review my year.  I generally start by reading last year’s letter.  I did that and I was surprised by the letter.  I remember having a really difficult time coping with anything last year.  Yet somehow my letter was seemingly upbeat.  I didn’t mention my struggle at all.

I feel like this year I have come out of the darkness.  I don’t know how to explain everything that happened except to give you a list of things I have noticed that are different for me now:

• A couple of weeks ago I mentioned to my friend that I was running.  She assumed I meant figuratively.  I said ‘no I am actually running on a treadmill…’  Last year I probably would have said I was hiding – literally and figuratively.
• Without realizing it, I had taken on an identity of a person who gives up.  I have been freed from that.  This year I wrote a novel in thirty days.  I also earned a camera for myself by continuing to work out.  I didn’t stop working out when I had set backs.
• I find that the more discipline I practice the more free I feel.
• Now that I have goals, I am kinder to myself about the things that don’t matter.
• I danced…
• I can feel myself beginning to shine.
• I am learning to reach out and be honest.  I have come to rely on many friends for help.
• I have access to a strength the comes from God.  I have felt the power of living as a child of God.
• When my doctor told me I couldn’t work out for two weeks, I came home and cried.

So what does this have to do with Christmas?  Well Christmas is the time we mark the arrival of Jesus, our Emmanuel, God with us.  I believe that the changes I have experienced are because there is a God who lives in us, who is not distant from our daily lives and struggles.  I am so grateful to Jesus for showing me the way this year. 

Not everything is perfect.  There are still many things I would like to see change in my life.  But I am blessed.  I pray that this is a year of happy beginnings for all of us.

Love,

Misty

The Christmas Letter 2008

Wow, this year has been quite eventful for me. I went on my first ‘hot holiday’ in March. When I returned I wasn’t feeling well. After just over a week later I was so sick and in so much pain I could barely walk. Then suddenly I was in the hospital and having emergency surgery. It turned my world upside down.

In some ways having that happen was a very fast way to shed a lot of my defenses. I couldn’t take care of myself. I was dependant on the doctors and nurses to take care of me. And I wasn’t able to prepare for my recovery time. I couldn’t plan meals and make them ahead of time, clean my house, prepare for being off work for several weeks. Through it all God provided. He provided caring doctors and nurses. He provided food and people to help when I got home. I learned so much from that experience.

Towards the end of the summer the stress of owning a house was starting to get to me. Suddenly, after talking to my dad, I decided to move into a condo. I made the decision on August 17th. I moved into the condo on October 15th and gave up possession of my home on October 17th (two months to the day.) Everything happened so quickly. I felt God’s hand in all of it, from the help I received to clean up and pack, to the real estate agent who pretty much held my hand through all of it, to the feeling I got when I found out the people who moved into my house were looking for a house just like mine.

I have noticed that at this time of year I have started to hear a lot of Christians skip to the message of Easter – that Jesus saved us from our sins. The cross is the ultimate sacrifice and we can never forget the gift of everlasting life. Yet I am also equally grateful for the gift of Emmanuel, God with us. The fact that Jesus came means I am never alone. I am still receiving that gift. I can see it throughout my whole year.

When I think about my story and how I came to Christ I remember someone who was very lonely and did a lot of life alone. I still believe Jesus saved my life 8 years ago. For me, Jesus had to come first before He could rescue me from my sin. That is the message of Christmas.

May the year be full of happy beginnings for you and your family.

Love,

Misty

Christmas 2007

The first year I started writing Christmas letters I did it as a last ditch effort to find some meaning in the season. I remember writing the letter in the last few days before Christmas. Very few people actually saw the letter because the only people who got it were those who I actually physically handed cards to in the last few days before Christmas. Since then the tradition has expanded and many people started to get the letter. Last year I adapted to posting the letter online to save some paper and make Christmas card mailing a little easier.

So here it is December 22nd and I am writing my Christmas letter. I am pretty sure the first Christmas letter I wrote was on December 22nd. I think I am sort of feeling the same way I did the first year. I know many people enjoy reading the letter and I would say that I am doing it for them. But really if I were to be honest I just can’t let Christmas go by without writing a Christmas letter. I need to articulate the hope I have.

When I think of this year the word that comes to mind is waiting. For me there are two kinds of waiting. There is the anticipatory excitement of waiting for something good you know is going to happen. You may not even know what it is you are waiting for. Sometimes that is half the excitement. Then there is the kind of waiting where you are desparate for relief. I have experienced both kinds of waiting this year.

Early this year I stepped back from ministry for a few months. I had no idea what God had in store for me except that it was good. By the end of the spring I felt like I had changed in some fundamental way. I started to see myself in a new way -- the way God saw me. I was excited about what God had done in my life already and I felt like there was the promise of more. I decided to take a more extended break from ministry and seek further healing.

As summer began so did an extremely stressful period for me at work. Then an event that would normally be forgotten the next day came to define a huge part of my life. On August 2nd on the way to a meeting I tripped on a mat. I got back up and went to the meeting but by the end of it I knew I had hurt my wrist. What was originally diagnosed as just a sprain turned out to be a more serious injury. I have had months of physiotherapy and I am now looking at the possibility of surgery in the new year.

So I began a season of the other kind of waiting. I have never had to deal with chronic pain before. I never understood how much living with pain everyday changes you. It messes with your head. It is a struggle to function. I don’t want to be the kind of person who is grumpy and whiny yet I find myself being that person some days. Beyond that there is this undercurrent of feeling vulnerable and not knowing what to do.

Waiting for physical healing has been mirrored by waiting for emotional healing. It is actually hard to separate the two. Yet this fall I learned to find strength in Christ I never realized that I had access to. I learned to actively fight the battle rather than just surviving it. I found myself continually proclaiming God’s goodness and strength even when the circumstances appeared hopeless.

I wish I could say I had been steadfast in fighting the battle. Last week a friend of mine received some devastating news in the midst of weathering a profound loss. I cried out to God with the unfairness of it all. I pleaded with Him to intervene. I started to wonder why I was fighting or what I was fighting for.

Today I have no answers but somehow I am starting to feel better. I realize as I write this that even though I much prefer the former kind of waiting that both kinds of waiting involve an abundance of hope. So now, because of God’s grace, I am beginning to find the will to fight again. In some ways I feel stronger because I know that it is not up to me to maintain a certain level of faith. God is with me no matter what.

Thank you to all who have continued to walk with me even though times have been hard. I pray that you will experience the anticipatory type of waiting and that if you don’t that you will still find an abundance of hope. As always I wish you a year full of happy beginnings.

Love,

Misty
Christmas 2007