Christmas 2004
Last year, my Christmas letter was an exploration of Christmas’ past and a sort of proclamation of hope for the future. It went sort of like this: good Christmas, not so good Christmas, great Christmas, not so great Christmas. After I wrote the letter I came up with a theory. Every second Christmas would be good. It was kind of silly now I think about it. Well, have you heard the saying, “Man Plans, God Laughs?”
I am not really a fan of that quote. At best, it makes God sound like some cosmic scientist and us experimental dogs expecting food when a bell rings. At worst God would be like a bully who gets a thrill out of knocking kids off bikes. I don’t think God is either of those things but perhaps he does have a little chuckle when we think we have life all figured out.
Last year I had so much faith that I was where God wanted me to be. This year that faith cost me a lot. At times I have wondered if t he faith I had was ever real. But just as a He was so present in my silly theory last year that He would have a little chuckle at my theory, God has been deeply present in my life through my doubts and wanderings. Sometimes I have had a sense of Him sharing my grief with me. Other times I have been unaware that He was working in my life to keep me safe and drawing me back to Him.
During these past months God has sent me people to support me. I am starting to find places where I feel comfortable and safe. I have hope that things are getting and will continue to get better. And yes I believe once again that I am where God wants me to be. I am grateful that He never stopped calling me back there.
So, for this year, that is enough hope for a Christmas season. Knowing that God hasn’t and will never forget us and has our lives in His heart is a profound experience.
Last year I prayed for happy beginnings for everyone. I re-read my letter a few months ago and rethought that idea. Some kind of ending usually precedes that kind of beginning. It was a risky prayer on my part. I am still willing to risk it. After all, Christmas really is about the anticipation of a new beginning isn’t it?
I pray that this year is full of happy beginnings for you and your family.
Love,
Misty
Christmas 2004
I am not really a fan of that quote. At best, it makes God sound like some cosmic scientist and us experimental dogs expecting food when a bell rings. At worst God would be like a bully who gets a thrill out of knocking kids off bikes. I don’t think God is either of those things but perhaps he does have a little chuckle when we think we have life all figured out.
Last year I had so much faith that I was where God wanted me to be. This year that faith cost me a lot. At times I have wondered if t he faith I had was ever real. But just as a He was so present in my silly theory last year that He would have a little chuckle at my theory, God has been deeply present in my life through my doubts and wanderings. Sometimes I have had a sense of Him sharing my grief with me. Other times I have been unaware that He was working in my life to keep me safe and drawing me back to Him.
During these past months God has sent me people to support me. I am starting to find places where I feel comfortable and safe. I have hope that things are getting and will continue to get better. And yes I believe once again that I am where God wants me to be. I am grateful that He never stopped calling me back there.
So, for this year, that is enough hope for a Christmas season. Knowing that God hasn’t and will never forget us and has our lives in His heart is a profound experience.
Last year I prayed for happy beginnings for everyone. I re-read my letter a few months ago and rethought that idea. Some kind of ending usually precedes that kind of beginning. It was a risky prayer on my part. I am still willing to risk it. After all, Christmas really is about the anticipation of a new beginning isn’t it?
I pray that this year is full of happy beginnings for you and your family.
Love,
Misty
Christmas 2004
posted by Misty at 6:32 PM
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