The Christmas Letters

Christmas 2011

2011-12-18T12:51:00.001-08:00

I don’t know how people in warmer climates manage to acknowledge Christmas. I suppose you get used to it. This year in Winnipeg, most people will say that the above normal temperatures are making it difficult for them to feel like it is Christmas. Yet here we are, one week away.

There are lots of other reasons that I may want to give up on Christmas. It brings back memories that make me feel sad and burdened. I am going through a particularly difficult time right now. There is no obvious reason to celebrate.

It reminds me of the hymn In the Bleak Midwinter:

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

I will celebrate because, no matter how it appears, Jesus always shows up. I will celebrate because, even though I don’t see how, my circumstances will change. I will celebrate because, even though I feel alone in my sadness, the incarnation sustains me not just through Christmas but all year round.

May this be a year of happy beginnings for you and your family.

Love,

Misty

Christmas 2010

2010-12-28T11:45:00.001-08:00

I began this year knowing that ‘It is my year.’ There was so much promise. I was happy. In many ways it has been my year. I have progressed quickly at my job. I was able to become more healthy, to the point of participating in two 5K races and riding my bike to work in the summer. I never thought I could do any of those things.

Imbedded in the Christmas story in Luke Chapter two, there are some things that happen that Mary, “holds close to her heart.” That stuck out for me because there are many things about this year that I will hold close to my heart. And the most important of these is that God was able to do in me and through me things I never thought was possible.

I have also learned this year that perhaps life is more of a series of ‘hmmm’ moments instead of ‘aha moments.’ There have been so many learnings this year that were incremental. All of these things have built to make me a better woman. Yes, that sounds like a cliché, but I truly believe that I am a better woman than I was this time last year.

So as I progress through this coming year I hope and pray that there will be more things that I can hold close to my heart. I will also value the hmmm moments more. And as always I pray for a year of happy beginnings for you and your family.

Love,

Misty

Christmas 2009

2009-12-23T21:18:00.001-08:00

My friend asked me today if my Christmas letter was forthcoming… I sighed that it was but I had a problem. I am feeling too happy to write my Christmas letter. If you haven’t read my other letters this might not make sense to you. Most of my letters have been some kind of attempt to make the best of Christmas. This year I am feeling happy. I am not happy about Christmas specifically but I am not bothered by it either.

But really part of the purpose of the Christmas letter is to review my year. I generally start by reading last year’s letter. I did that and I was surprised by the letter. I remember having a really difficult time coping with anything last year. Yet somehow my letter was seemingly upbeat. I didn’t mention my struggle at all.

I feel like this year I have come out of the darkness. I don’t know how to explain everything that happened except to give you a list of things I have noticed that are different for me now:

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned to my friend that I was running. She assumed I meant figuratively. I said ‘no I am actually running on a treadmill…’ Last year I probably would have said I was hiding – literally and figuratively.
Without realizing it, I had taken on an identity of a person who gives up. I have been freed from that. This year I wrote a novel in thirty days. I also earned a camera for myself by continuing to work out. I didn’t stop working out when I had set backs.
I find that the more discipline I practice the more free I feel.
Now that I have goals, I am kinder to myself about the things that don’t matter.
I danced…
I can feel myself beginning to shine.
I am learning to reach out and be honest. I have come to rely on many friends for help.
I have access to a strength the comes from God. I have felt the power of living as a child of God.
When my doctor told me I couldn’t work out for two weeks, I came home and cried.

So what does this have to do with Christmas? Well Christmas is the time we mark the arrival of Jesus, our Emmanuel, God with us. I believe that the changes I have experienced are because there is a God who lives in us, who is not distant from our daily lives and struggles. I am so grateful to Jesus for showing me the way this year.

Not everything is perfect. There are still many things I would like to see change in my life. But I am blessed. I pray that this is a year of happy beginnings for all of us.

Love,

Misty

The Christmas Letter 2008

2008-12-24T11:47:00.001-08:00

Wow, this year has been quite eventful for me. I went on my first ‘hot holiday’ in March. When I returned I wasn’t feeling well. After just over a week later I was so sick and in so much pain I could barely walk. Then suddenly I was in the hospital and having emergency surgery. It turned my world upside down.

In some ways having that happen was a very fast way to shed a lot of my defenses. I couldn’t take care of myself. I was dependant on the doctors and nurses to take care of me. And I wasn’t able to prepare for my recovery time. I couldn’t plan meals and make them ahead of time, clean my house, prepare for being off work for several weeks. Through it all God provided. He provided caring doctors and nurses. He provided food and people to help when I got home. I learned so much from that experience.

Towards the end of the summer the stress of owning a house was starting to get to me. Suddenly, after talking to my dad, I decided to move into a condo. I made the decision on August 17th. I moved into the condo on October 15th and gave up possession of my home on October 17th (two months to the day.) Everything happened so quickly. I felt God’s hand in all of it, from the help I received to clean up and pack, to the real estate agent who pretty much held my hand through all of it, to the feeling I got when I found out the people who moved into my house were looking for a house just like mine.

I have noticed that at this time of year I have started to hear a lot of Christians skip to the message of Easter – that Jesus saved us from our sins. The cross is the ultimate sacrifice and we can never forget the gift of everlasting life. Yet I am also equally grateful for the gift of Emmanuel, God with us. The fact that Jesus came means I am never alone. I am still receiving that gift. I can see it throughout my whole year.

When I think about my story and how I came to Christ I remember someone who was very lonely and did a lot of life alone. I still believe Jesus saved my life 8 years ago. For me, Jesus had to come first before He could rescue me from my sin. That is the message of Christmas.

May the year be full of happy beginnings for you and your family.

Love,

Misty

Christmas 2007

2007-12-22T12:14:00.000-08:00

The first year I started writing Christmas letters I did it as a last ditch effort to find some meaning in the season. I remember writing the letter in the last few days before Christmas. Very few people actually saw the letter because the only people who got it were those who I actually physically handed cards to in the last few days before Christmas. Since then the tradition has expanded and many people started to get the letter. Last year I adapted to posting the letter online to save some paper and make Christmas card mailing a little easier.

So here it is December 22nd and I am writing my Christmas letter. I am pretty sure the first Christmas letter I wrote was on December 22nd. I think I am sort of feeling the same way I did the first year. I know many people enjoy reading the letter and I would say that I am doing it for them. But really if I were to be honest I just can’t let Christmas go by without writing a Christmas letter. I need to articulate the hope I have.

When I think of this year the word that comes to mind is waiting. For me there are two kinds of waiting. There is the anticipatory excitement of waiting for something good you know is going to happen. You may not even know what it is you are waiting for. Sometimes that is half the excitement. Then there is the kind of waiting where you are desparate for relief. I have experienced both kinds of waiting this year.

Early this year I stepped back from ministry for a few months. I had no idea what God had in store for me except that it was good. By the end of the spring I felt like I had changed in some fundamental way. I started to see myself in a new way -- the way God saw me. I was excited about what God had done in my life already and I felt like there was the promise of more. I decided to take a more extended break from ministry and seek further healing.

As summer began so did an extremely stressful period for me at work. Then an event that would normally be forgotten the next day came to define a huge part of my life. On August 2nd on the way to a meeting I tripped on a mat. I got back up and went to the meeting but by the end of it I knew I had hurt my wrist. What was originally diagnosed as just a sprain turned out to be a more serious injury. I have had months of physiotherapy and I am now looking at the possibility of surgery in the new year.

So I began a season of the other kind of waiting. I have never had to deal with chronic pain before. I never understood how much living with pain everyday changes you. It messes with your head. It is a struggle to function. I don’t want to be the kind of person who is grumpy and whiny yet I find myself being that person some days. Beyond that there is this undercurrent of feeling vulnerable and not knowing what to do.

Waiting for physical healing has been mirrored by waiting for emotional healing. It is actually hard to separate the two. Yet this fall I learned to find strength in Christ I never realized that I had access to. I learned to actively fight the battle rather than just surviving it. I found myself continually proclaiming God’s goodness and strength even when the circumstances appeared hopeless.

I wish I could say I had been steadfast in fighting the battle. Last week a friend of mine received some devastating news in the midst of weathering a profound loss. I cried out to God with the unfairness of it all. I pleaded with Him to intervene. I started to wonder why I was fighting or what I was fighting for.

Today I have no answers but somehow I am starting to feel better. I realize as I write this that even though I much prefer the former kind of waiting that both kinds of waiting involve an abundance of hope. So now, because of God’s grace, I am beginning to find the will to fight again. In some ways I feel stronger because I know that it is not up to me to maintain a certain level of faith. God is with me no matter what.

Thank you to all who have continued to walk with me even though times have been hard. I pray that you will experience the anticipatory type of waiting and that if you don’t that you will still find an abundance of hope. As always I wish you a year full of happy beginnings.

Love,

Misty
Christmas 2007

Christmas 2006

2006-12-16T11:08:00.000-08:00

So here we are again. It is almost Christmas. I have been reviewing my past Christmas letters. What a journey they have been. And what a journey this year has been. Last year I commented on how each year I know I have changed. This year has been no exception.

The spring was a huge turning point for me. God showed me some things about myself that allowed me to see that I was often the author of my own misery. I knew I was powerless to change. Yet with God’s help I did. I feel like I am looking at life through a totally different lens. That has defined how I act and move forward in my life.

Do you ever look back and wish you could hit a pause button on your life? I wish I could hit pause on the spring. I sensed God’s presence in everything. I had a sense of direction and healing. I saw God’s direction for my life. I felt such meaning and purpose.

The fall has been a difficult and sad time. I have wondered if what happened in the spring had been undone. Yet I know that I am different than I was. I am more graceful. I am still more positive. I still sense God working in my life.

I am learning that I don’t necessarily have to be better to be okay. I am learning that contentment isn’t the same thing as the absence of desire. I am learning that strength in Christ is not the opposite of my weakness. I am learning to hear another voice that tells me ‘it is well with my soul.’

As Christmas begins to draw more near I am finding that I have more hope. The birth of Jesus did not come without a struggle. And the hope that Jesus brings was begun at His birth but not accomplished until His death. So maybe this pattern of births and subsequent dark places is part of the plan.

I am so blessed to have so many friends who have become like family to me. I am also humbled that God continues to draw me to Him. May this be a year of happy beginnings for you and your family.

Love,

Misty
Christmas 2006

Christmas 2005

2006-12-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

I don’t know about you, but Christmas seems to have sprung up on me this year. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I am still waiting for summer. This time of year always prompts me to think about what is different in my life. The events that most people would list when they think about life change haven’t happened. I still live in the same place. I work for the same company. I am not suddenly married with children. Yet, I feel like absolutely everything is different.

My old car died and I purchased a new one. I now understand t hat those people who say their life changed when they started sleeping on a new mattress are not crazy. I have had two new positions within the company I work for. I have gone from being an accountant to an IT business analyst which is a huge shift. I started working out and with that started feeling better. I followed God’s leading to re-engage ministry.

Those things are not what I am talking about when I say that everything is different. I am different. I am always being shaped by the events around me. I know different things than I did last year. I perceive things differently than I did a year ago. I always do.

God is constant and pretty much everything else changes. That is what I have been thinking about. No matter what point in a year I choose, I know that if I reflect back on the previous year I will see that I am different. I will see that my life is at least a little bit different than the year before. That is both terrifying and exciting at the same time. I know that my life is not exactly where I want it to be right now. I also know that I have been in worse places than I am now. I am kind of in the middle.

One of the central themes of Christmas is hope. Whether someone is a Christian or not, they would recognize that this season is about the celebration of things to come. That’s what all the good classic Christmas movies are about right? Someone’s life gets better over the holidays.

People can choose to think that Christmas is just a bunch of crap. They can decide that there is no hope. Or they can decide that the season has become so commercialized that there is no point anymore. This year I choose to think that if things are going to be different next year that I am going to hope that God will do amazing things in my life. I am going to reflect on how Jesus has shown up in my life in a big way in the past. I know that He will do it again.

May this year be full of happy beginnings for you and your family!

Love,
Misty

Christmas 2004

2006-12-07T18:32:00.000-08:00

Last year, my Christmas letter was an exploration of Christmas’ past and a sort of proclamation of hope for the future. It went sort of like this: good Christmas, not so good Christmas, great Christmas, not so great Christmas. After I wrote the letter I came up with a theory. Every second Christmas would be good. It was kind of silly now I think about it. Well, have you heard the saying, “Man Plans, God Laughs?”

I am not really a fan of that quote. At best, it makes God sound like some cosmic scientist and us experimental dogs expecting food when a bell rings. At worst God would be like a bully who gets a thrill out of knocking kids off bikes. I don’t think God is either of those things but perhaps he does have a little chuckle when we think we have life all figured out.

Last year I had so much faith that I was where God wanted me to be. This year that faith cost me a lot. At times I have wondered if t he faith I had was ever real. But just as a He was so present in my silly theory last year that He would have a little chuckle at my theory, God has been deeply present in my life through my doubts and wanderings. Sometimes I have had a sense of Him sharing my grief with me. Other times I have been unaware that He was working in my life to keep me safe and drawing me back to Him.

During these past months God has sent me people to support me. I am starting to find places where I feel comfortable and safe. I have hope that things are getting and will continue to get better. And yes I believe once again that I am where God wants me to be. I am grateful that He never stopped calling me back there.

So, for this year, that is enough hope for a Christmas season. Knowing that God hasn’t and will never forget us and has our lives in His heart is a profound experience.

Last year I prayed for happy beginnings for everyone. I re-read my letter a few months ago and rethought that idea. Some kind of ending usually precedes that kind of beginning. It was a risky prayer on my part. I am still willing to risk it. After all, Christmas really is about the anticipation of a new beginning isn’t it?

I pray that this year is full of happy beginnings for you and your family.

Love,

Misty
Christmas 2004

Christmas 2003

2006-12-07T18:27:00.000-08:00

I am finding myself wanting to write a Christmas letter. I have no idea why. I am not a Christmas letter person. I could make fun of Christmas letters but some people I really love write them. Actually, the truth is that I like Christmas letters. I just think that they are for others. In order to write a Christmas letter you need to be married and probably have kids to talk about. How many single people write Christmas letters? I am going to write one anyway. Something tells me to start with Christmas’ of the past.

To say that Christmas was my mother’s favourite time of the year would be an understatement. I think it would be more accurate to say that the other three hundred and sixty four days of the year were just time fillers to Christmas day. My mom would start buying Christmas gifts in the summer. There were a lot of musts for Christmas. We must have licorice allsorts, wine gums, nuts still in the shell, Nutchos, and lots of other candy. My mother loved Christmas carols as well. Something about them made her happy. Then there were the gifts. I always had a lot of gifts to open. My mother would save everything I needed and wrap those things up as Christmas presents. After we opened presents we would have a nice breakfast and then probably have a nap between then and dinner

After my mom died, I really didn’t see a lot of point in celebrating Christmas. It was a time for children and I was no longer one of those. Christmas became something to get through. It reminded me of all I had lost. I would leave my shopping until the last minute. If I decorated my house, I would plug in the little tree my aunt made me out of hangers and garland with lights strung around it. And even then the only reason I decorated was because it bothered people so much that I didn’t have a tree.

The first Christmas after I asked Christ to come into my life I felt like I had a reason to celebrate again. For the first time since my mother passed away, I dug out the tree and put it up. I actually put it up on November 17th – that’s how excited I was. I baked all kinds of food. I had a Christmas party at my house. I was so happy. It seemed like my years of having to tolerate Christmas were over.

The next year, I started to remember all of the things I didn’t have. Christmas is a time for families. The family members who I used to celebrate Christmas with are gone. The family I celebrate Christmas with now has their own traditions. Their history is something I was distant from growing up. It always feels a little strange to be with that part of my family at Christmas.

Last year at this time, I saw God in everything and everywhere. I was so excited about the work God was doing in my heart and life. I sang Christmas carols everywhere I went. I felt like there was an adventure in front of me and I was ready for it. I don’t feel like that this year.

This year, adventure doesn’t seem like a very good idea. A nap would be better. I am tired. I don’t have that same excitement I did last year. Part of me wonders what was wrong with me last year. It is not that I don’t think there is anything to celebrate; it is just that I am not experiencing the energy and excitement that a new beginning brings.

So where is my Christmas spirit? How am I finding meaning in this season? I think about the time when I thought my life had been taken away from me and there was no hope that life would ever get better. I think about how I have moved from merely surviving life to really living it. I think of the fact that I live in a community in which I am known and cared for. I think of this past year and how I have never before had such confidence that I am exactly where God wants me to be – even when things are tough. I think of friends like you.

That is what Christmas is about for me this year. It is about remembering all the beginnings. It is about being in awe that God would come to earth as a baby for someone like me. It is about looking forward to meeting Christ in new places.

I pray that this year will be full of happy beginnings and discoveries for you.

Love,
Misty

Christmas 2003